Love Yourself?

"Find something good about yourself and learn how to love yourself"

How do I even find something good about myself when all I see are my flaws? First of all, who am I even to begin with? Even though I have been alive for 22 years, I still can't find the words to describe myself. I am so full of uncertainties and doubts that my life just comes to a standstill. I find myself stuck at the same place unable to move forward. I don't know what to do nor what i want to do. Standing in front of a crossroad... not knowing which path to take.

Everyday repeats and I continue with my own boring routine. Sleep, eat and breathe. I look forward to sleeping everyday so that time will pass faster. I want to get out of this cycle but something keeps dragging me behind. It is so difficult to find your meaning and purpose in life. People say that you are the leader of your own life. How do I even take charge of my life when I have no direction to guide me?

It is only until recently that I kind of found my way. Even though my dream is still vague and hard to reach, it still serves as a small compass in my life. I realised it is okay to not have any direction, dream or motivation. It is okay to stumble, fall and make mistakes as long as you keep getting back up. Life is not a straight and smooth path. It is a long and tedious journey. No one can predict what the future holds and things might not turn out the way you want it to be.

In this fast paced world, you may feel that everyone around you seem to have some direction and goal. They are so ahead of you that you feel that you are lagging behind. The thing is that everyone has their own pace. Life is not about comparing yourself with others. Everyone has their own journey and path to take. So its okay to take things slow and everything will gradually start to fall in place. 

Even though everyone's path is different, we are bound to cross each other's paths one day. We may walk together or go our separate ways. However, you are not alone in this world.

Although I don't know your problems and situations, I will pray for you. I won't assure you that everything will be fine but things will get better if you believe that it will be. Whatever you are experiencing now, whether is it good or bad, it will pass. Life has to carry on.

Starting to love yourself is difficult but remember that your flaws are part of you and not whole of you. Only by accepting who you really are, then you will slowly learn how to hate yourself less and love yourself more.

x

Crossroad

Here I am, standing in front of a crossroad once again. With different paths set out for me, I am still not sure which path to take. Even though it is time for me to transition into the next phase of my life, I am still not ready. I am worried, uncertain and full of doubts. Everyday I will ponder and ask myself if this is the right path for me but I got no answers. The naive me in the past thought that I could venture into the career path of being a food research scientist. However, my results could not attain a spot in the stringent and popular course of study (FST) at NUS. I had no choice but to accept the offer to study Chemistry at the same university.

It then dawned upon me that life doesn't go the way we want sometimes. We don't always get our preferred choice but we can determine our attitude towards it. As long as we are still living, there are many opportunities to seek and experiences to gain. Who might know that I could discover another interest or passion along this path?

Credits to the owner of the picture above.

Basketball

"Shoot", "Aim", "Just a little more strength", "Prepare yourself before you shoot" and "Out, go clear the ball" were the phrases that I always hear when I play basketball. It is interesting how strangers could come together and just play a match without even knowing each other well. Once the match starts, each of the players naturally assume their spots - center, rebound, point guard, power forward, shooting guard and small forward.

Basketball is a sport that uses a lot of physical and mental strength. Moreover, I don't exercise regularly nor do I have the strength or stamina to play well in a match. Since young, I watched my cousins play basketball at the corner of the court. As I'm a beginner, I often get left out whenever my cousins play matches with other people. Just by watching the aggressive plays at the center, I felt scared and not confident.

It was not until recently, I started playing basketball again. This time, I decided to learn basketball seriously. First things first, I need to learn how to shoot. After shooting a few balls at the same spot before moving further away from the ring, I started to gain more confidence as I keep scoring. As a beginner, I just stayed around the same spot as a small forward during matches and wait for the ball to be passed to me. Having the mindset of "I can do this" or "This ball will get in" is very important. If you are distracted, not confident or pressured, you definitely will not score which explains why basketball is mentally and physically tiring.

The ability to make decisions on the spot, distract or pressurise others is something basketball taught me. To shoot or pass, to block or stay free is the decisions that you will need to make as you play. Furthermore, you must not back down after a few mistakes and have the mindset of "I'll do better next time" so that your team mates will trust you to score for the team.

Basketball. Difficult but Interesting. Tiring but Fun. Competitive but Teamwork.